The main one In Which Monica Gets a unique Roomie (The Pilot-The Uncut Version)

The main one In Which Monica Gets a unique Roomie (The Pilot-The Uncut Version)

Authored by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane Transcribed by: guineapig further transcribing by: Eric Aasen (notice: The previously unseen parts of this event were revealed in blue text.)

Chandler: Alright, thus I’m in senior high school, i am waiting in the cafeteria, and I realize Im totally nude.

Chandler: All of a sudden, the device begins to ring. Now I don’t know what you should do, everybody starts taking a look at me personally.

Chandler: ultimately, we find I’d best respond to it, a nd it turns out it really is my personal mother, in fact it is very-very strange, because- she never calls me personally!

Ross: I just feel just like some one reached down my neck, grabbed my personal little intestine, removed it out of my personal mouth area and tied it around my neck.

Monica: Oh actually, making sure that hysterical phone call I got from a lady at sobbing 3:00 A.M., “I’ll never have grandchildren, I’ll most likely never need grandchildren.” ended up being what? A wrong amounts?

Joey: Okay Ross, find. You are feeling plenty of pain right now. You’re resentful. You’re injuring. Should I reveal what the answer is?

Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I simply went to your strengthening and you also just weren’t around after which this guy with a huge hammer mentioned you might be right here and you are, you may be!

Monica: (directed at Rachel) De-caff. (to any or all) Okay, everybody, this is certainly Rachel, another Lincoln extreme survivor. (to Rachel) this is exactly everybody, that is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- your remember my brother Ross?

(they’re going to hug but Ross’s umbrella opens up. He sits back beat again. A second of silence follows as Rachel rests and also the others anticipate her to explain.)

Rachel: Oh God. well, it begun about a 30 minutes ahead of the wedding. I found myself inside area where we were keeping every offers, and I also got taking a look at this gravy motorboat. This truly attractive Lamauge gravy ship. Whenever all of a sudden- (towards waitress that put the girl coffee)pleasing ‘n’ Lo?- we recognized that I became most turned on through this gravy motorboat than by Barry! And i acquired actually freaked-out, and that is with regards to struck myself: simply how much Barry appears to be Mr. Potato Head. Y’know, I mean, i usually know checked common, but. Anyway, i simply had to escape truth be told there, and I started questioning ‘exactly why in the morning I achieving this, and exactly who in the morning we achieving this for?’. (to Monica) So in any event I just don’t learn which place to go, and I know you and We have kinda drifted aside, you’re the only real people we understood who stayed within the city.

Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda wanting that willn’t end up being a problem. [Scene: Monica’s house, everybody is truth be told there and watching a Spanish Soap on television and tend to be racking your brains on the proceedings.]

It’s just two different people meeting to food and- not having sex

Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: force the girl along the stairs! Push the woman down the stairs! Push the lady down the stairways!

I simply don’t like him

Rachel: C’mon Daddy, hear me! It’s like, it really is like, each one of my entire life, we have all constantly said, ‘You’re a footwear! You are a shoe, you’re a shoe, you are a shoe!’. And after this i recently ceased and I also said, ‘Can you imagine I really don’t want to feel a shoe? Imagine if I wanna sugar daddy websites canada be a- a purse, y’know? Or a- or a hat! No, I am not stating i really want you purchasing me a hat, i am stating i’m a ha- It really is a metaphor, father!

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